Experience report: one year after completion A Course in Miracles

On 24. April 2017 by Admin

Since you are interested in this report about A Course in Miracles, I assume that you have already dealt with the course, or at least heard of it and have become curious. If this is not the case and you do not know the course at all, then this experience report will be incredible to you, as if from another world. And that is exactly what it is.

I do not want to spend too much time explaining what the course is, but I want to show what it does. My descriptions may irritate you if you are unfamiliar with the course, but remember that this is an experience report. As the name suggests, it discusses my experiences with the course. Each person’s way is different. When I feel something is important and true, then I am totally uncompromising in my learning, and my experience report reflects it. It is a privilege to share my experience with A Course in Miracles, and I hope you enjoy learning about it!

If you have read other experience reports I have written, you know that I am interested only in the truth. As you may have noticed in the experience report I wrote after three years with THE WORK by Byron Katie, I went on a journey to find absolute inner peace and to discover everything in me that disturbs it. Even if I have to look at the terrible things in me, I cover it, because I want to know the truth about myself. Only light can drive away darkness.

The course turns everything upside-down

Over the past three years, I’ve examined my relationships, conflicts, problems, and inconsistencies. In doing so, I noticed that there are many things experienced unconsciously that can be revealed by THE WORK, and branched into areas that the human ego cleverly hides and conceals from me. Thanks to THE WORK, I managed to see the workings of my mind and thoughts more clearly, but my progress was too slow. Above all, I observed that my own ego sabotaged me all the time. It showed me successes, which were not real successes, and completely entangled me in old (useless) learning patterns. My ego even tried to sabotage me as I did THE WORK.

This is how I got to the course. My hunger for change drove me to devoted learning and practice.

The decisive moment

I remember my decisive moment well. I was on holiday in Thailand in December 2014. I was reading a book in my favorite Starbucks Cafe looking out over the turquoise blue sea and the sentence came over my lips. „Please, dear God, I really want to know the truth now. I do not want to wander around here like a blind man, I want to feel clarity and complete peace within myself.” And the independent thing in my life is just running.

I want to live completely free from the shackles of circumstance, and rather, exist constantly in pure love and peace. If someone I love dies or I fall into bankruptcy, whether am diagnosed with a terminal illness or  paralyzed in an accident, if I am disfigured or distorted, etc. – none of this should disrupt the love and peace I feel inside.

I bet that you think I am a big dreamer! But you have no idea what happened in my first year as a student of A Course in Miracles.

The first days and steps with the course

When I returned to Austria, I went to a bookstore, and I saw a book on the shelf, which in size and measure overshadowed the other books. The title of the book, A Course in Miracles, sounded quite strange. When I took this book into my hand, I began to (literally!) tremble. I began to read its first pages.

Imagine the scene: I held this book, which has over 1200 pages, and after reading for only two minutes, I quickly put the book back! It struck me deeply! The language, the formulation, the hundreds of pages, and its references to God, atonement, forgiveness etc. I wanted to have absolutely nothing to do with this book or its contents. I seceded from the Roman Catholic Church because I did not want to have anything to do with religions and their use of fear and guilt. This book aroused those feelings within me. Wahhhh!

“Do away with this scrap of a book,” I thought to myself, and went home. But the experience stayed with me. In the next few days, I heard the phrase „a course in miracles“ at least once a day. Eckhart Tolle used it in a YouTube video I watched, and it was quoted in another book I was reading. I even dreamed about it. There was something about it that I could not ignore.

So I researched again and downloaded the course. When I browsed it a second time, I noticed that the course consists of three books. The textbook, the exercise book and the manual for teachers. And when I went for a review, someone gave me the tip that starting by doing the exercises lessons every day is one way to understand the course if the text didn’t immediately make sense. I did that.

I decided to really try it out. At this point I honestly had not made the decision to go through the course for one full year because I simply had no confidence in this book. It was still suspicious to me. Although I had read thousands of books to date, this book was different than anything I’d ever seen or read before.

The first lessons were startling. I had no idea at all what they were about. What were the exercises good for? I knew from previous experiences and successes that I should not indulge in an orientation at the beginning, because I would dismiss the content too soon. But somehow, it fascinated me, because I felt that it was something that not many people would do because the exercises were unpleasant. And that awoke my ego. Whenever a lesson was about extraordinary challenges, I was particularly sharpened. However, my ego worked against itself because it did not account for the precise, comprehensive, determined and intense practice and exercise. Doing lessons daily, learning and training leads the ego to virtually extinguish itself.

Don’t lose heart

To be honest, the first few weeks were tenacious and I didn’t achieve anything. I searched the Internet for people who completed the course, but I found relatively quickly that while many claimed to, very few really pulled it off. Or they started, and stopped after a short time, because the course is simply uncomfortable for the ego, and it is quite demotivating for those with strong egos. By uncovering the ego, a lot of hidden guilt is revealed and this feels awful. I had to control great fears, because I wanted to ignore uncomfortable feelings and experiences forever, and the course brought them into light.

But I found a woman who had been successful in her devotion to the course for 16 years. I wrote and phoned her. Our phone conversation was so motivating and helped me take a closer look at the number of exercises and extend my exercise time throughout each day. This woman gave me hope, because it was tough for her at first, too. She reassured me that I should continue, and I did.

Months later I met this woman in person. I wanted to see someone who has been practicing the course for so long, and our meeting was groundbreaking. I knew I wanted that peace, too. Again and again, I did research on the Internet to find others who might want to share their experiences with me, so that we could motivate each other to continue in our work. And then something wonderful happened again. In an Internet forum, the name Michael Ostarek (KURSWG.DE) was mentioned, and that was the beginning of yet another part of my journey.

When I learned about Michael Ostarek, I already had more than one month of training in the course. At that time I had not yet read a single page in the textbook of the course. Something held me back. When I saw that Michael did one session daily as well as the daily lessons in the textbook, I started to download all the audio sessions. That is when my journey with the course really started! A comparison: in the first 30 days I was walking along a small road, and now I found myself running down a 10-lane highway. I increased my learning to span 6-7 hours of every day, including 4-5 hours of audio sessions and the rest of the day’s own learning.

In every encounter and in each conversation – regardless of situation – I tried to apply what I learned from the course. I listened to audio sessions in my car, on the train and during my sports activities. Maybe that’s why I did about three hours of sports a day in the first six months of the course. I did not want to lie in my bed or sit at a desk, but rather to do some helpful or simple work such as riding a bike, roller skating, or simply walking for hours, while listening to the sessions for the course.

Through the sessions I began to understand what it really means to do the course, and after about three months I bought the full book and began to learn the core textbook. Through Michael I shed my aversion to the language and its meanings. Of course, the lessons had already acted, so that my aversions could be lifted.

The results motivated me again to increase the number of hits

After about six months of training, I intensified my effort and worked harder, longer, better, with more focus and care. I went abroad for the ninth month of the course to go deeper into my study and practice. In addition, I tried to speak nothing about the course for this one month, and since I was alone abroad, I could implement it outstandingly. I was surrounded by a completely different language, no media, no TV, no newspaper, an unfamiliar culture and 12 flight hours away from home. That month gave me an extra boost; I event fasted an additional 12 full days, which made me even clearer and more focused in my mind.

As a result of my intensive month away, all the dams were broken. All my learning, training, and teachings seemed to be fully implemented so that I had transformed and become what I had devoted myself to for a full year. I had reached my goal and emerged as the person I had hoped to become; he had not disappointed me.

Summary of the 1st year in A Course in Miracles

– There is a sorting-out (habits, constraints, unpleasant patterns disappear as if by themselves)

– Your fear decreases

– Your anger falls away

– Your envy disappears

– Your jealousy dissolves

– You are hardly manipulable

– Your needs get smaller and smaller, because you perceive that you always have everything you need

– Your taste expands

– You lose „friends“ and you are glad

– You win „friends“ and you are glad

– You’re happier

– You will be quiet and peaceful inside

– You stop fighting

– You start to love

– You want to give everything to everyone

– You are attacked and take it as a call for forgiveness

– You are accused and take it as a request for love

– You do not need anything from anyone and that is the greatest gift for those around you

– You heal your relationships

– You heal your diseases

– You heal your conflicts

– You’re healing

– You do not experience constraints anymore

– You’re no longer in need

– You’re reducing your EGO

– You’re suffering less – or not at all

– You’re more tolerant

– You’re more trustworthy

– You’re gentler

– You’re more generous

– You’re no longer a victim

– You do not whine anymore

– You’re not complaining anymore

– You’re happy for no reason

– You love more

– You do not want to have anything, you want to give it away

– You lose guilt

– You forgive the guilt of others

Meanwhile, I have already completed my second year studying, practicing, and living A Course in Miracles. Here is the experience report of my second year.

Have fun!

 

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